Releasing My Inner Painter

I just did a thing.

Have you ever had an idea, thought or feeling that followed you around? Hovering like a droid in a futuristic movie? Or a thought bubble next to your head with three dots . . . ?

About two years ago, I took a artistic writing class. It was one where we experienced with various mediums (like clay, paint, pastels, etc) and then used the creative work of art to prompt our writing for the evening.

I hate to admit that when I picked up a paintbrush for this class, it was the first time in my life (I was 41 at the time) that I had painted with anything other than my finger or a roller. And I LOVED IT. I had no idea what I was doing, what colour theory is or even this thing called perspective. I put paint on a brush and onto paper.

My one and only painting (currently).

Oh how it was freeing and (surprisingly) judgement free on my part. I felt like the world was my creative oyster — and painting was how it was going to be challenged. Monet, step aside. There’s a new kid in town. I had found my groove.

Two hours later, the class end and . . . nothing. My inner painter crawled back into her little cubbyhole with her one painting. Content for the time being. (Or so I thought.)

Yet, I didn’t forget that feeling. I would stop and look at paintings or even pop into an art shop. I would say “just looking” when someone asked if I needed help. I was just looking. Painting. Really?

And yet, my inner painter was growing tired of the one painting I hung on the wall. She was tired of the black and white world of writing in which I lived in. She wants more. She has more created in her mind’s eye. Beautiful images just waiting to be put down in a swirl of paint on canvas.

They say that the thoughts, the wants, and the desires that have a hook in you. That won’t fade with time. Those are the ones to pursue. Those are the ones pointing you to your dreams, your north stars or at least something to do with your time.

I have no training. I have no idea what I am doing. I have held a paintbrush once. These are all the thoughts I have had, trying to keep my inner painter at bay.

But it keeps coming up.

So, today, I did a thing. I bought some inexpensive, fresh out of the gate, beginners acrylic paint. I also purchased some inexpensive canvas and a few brushes.

A small investment for my heart’s desire.

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